All through the month of December I was cruising around in my car rocking out to my favorite seasonal tunes and I noticed that there are some really wacky holiday songs out there. And when I say wacky, I mean weird lines in these songs that weren’t meant to be weird. So I decided (in a moment of genious) to put together a list of THE TOP 3 STRANGEST LYRICS IN A CHRISTMAS SONG:
- “Do you hear what I hear.” A beautiful song about people visiting baby Jesus on the night he was born. Everyone from the shepherd boy to the king hear about his birth and decide to bring him gifts.What’s with this line? “A Child. A Child. Shivering in the cold. Let us bringhim silver and gold.”OK… Are you serious?!?! You’d think at least the Wise Men would be smart enough to figure out that if the kid was cold they should bring him an effing blanket!! I mean I know it rhymes and all but come on! Give the kid something to keep warm with for $@&% sake!
- Ba rum bum bum song- (yeah you know the one) A lovely little tune about a poor boy who goes to visit Jesus, and though he has no tangible gift for the newborn, he still delights everyone by playing his drum (oh that’s right… it’s called “The Drummer Boy.) What’s with this line? “The ox and lamb kept time” Apparently animals in frikin 00 AD had rhythm?!?!?! Maybe next time I’m playing Rock Band I’ll invite a sheep to come over and play drums…
- AND THE NUMBER ONE SONG IS… Andy Williams “Happy Holidays” song. Other than singing about some Christmas traditions like Santa Clause coming down the chimney, he puts in the most RANDOM traditions such as leaving a “peppermint stick for old St. Nick.” But… what’s with this line?!? “don’t forget to hang up your sock.”…I think I’ll skip the nice, glittery Christmas stocking this year and just duck tape my dirty sock to the mantel… Maybe Santa will leave me some laundry detergent! Woohoo!
Well there you have it folks! 
Merry Christmas to all!